Public entertainment is impossible

At the weekend my band was playing at the Cherry Tree. I played guitar for over 2 hours and made only a couple of mistakes. I played the Jeff Beck guitar part in "Superstition" without error, and more impressively I played the John Squire part from "Love is the Law" without a mistake while a drunken audience member played tambourine loudly out of time. However what I got a round of applause (and several congratulations) for, was tripping over a loudspeaker and landing flat on my face before the show even started.

Richard "no sex, no drugs, some rock'n'roll" B

Most unlikely experience from my holiday

I received a glancing blow to the side of the head from a low flying vulture at a falconry display.

I also had to buy public liability insurance to be able to play at a wedding.

Richard "public liability" B