I'm friendly with one of the little girls who lives on my estate, partly because she has a very beautiful, and as far as I know single, mother. I once rescued a shoe for the little girl and some months ago, at the little girls urging, I asked the mum on a date, she laughed at me and turned me down. Since then the mum has suffered a very serious loss of peripheral vision, she will in fact walk straight past me on the pavement without even noticing me, yet miraculously she can still drive a car.
At the weekend she knocked at my door and asked whether I would go over to her house and help her with something. I assumed she wanted me to help her try on lingerie, but in fact there was a problem with the hinges of her oven door. I was able to fix the oven, she was very friendly and thanked me profusely, I even think she might be able to see me again.
I can only imagine the gnashing of hands and wringing of teeth that she went through before she asked for my help. I'd like to think that as I write this, she's publishing an allegorical blog post where she's Odysseus, Scylla's a broken oven, and Charybdis is the weirdo who lives accross the road.
Richard "I can play the guitar" B
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