People say that time is money, but I'm not sure that it's true, and if it is the conversion is bewilderingly complex. Last week I did manage to turn a twenty pound note into two hours of professional cleaning in my house. If you saw how much she did, and knew how ineffectively I clean my own house, you might think I had created four hours of free time, but it's not that simple, I could just as easily have chosen to live in squalor.
I have been asking my hobbies to pay me back for the time and expense that I've lavished on them, but they have all threatened to default and negotiated very favourable repayment terms. For example I turned six hours of guitar restoration into a tenner and a pint, five hours of roadying and sound engineering into £25, and 10 minutes of knife grinding into a haircut.
What this seems to mean is that I'd be much wealthier if I could declare cleaning and tidying as one of my hobbies, and that I'd be a millionaire if only I could find an infinite supply of barbers with blunt kitchen knives - and I could exchange haircuts for goods and services.
Richard "play that tambourine properly or not at all" B
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