How am I coping?

Almost a decade ago I used to go out with a very nice young woman, beautiful, cheerful, friendly, fun, incongruously large breasts. Every month she would visit a theme park that I didn't understand, and spend a couple of days riding a terrifying emotional roller-coaster. Within seconds she would plunge from glee to misery, in moments she could travel from callous to tender, talkative to taciturn, argumentative to loving.

My dad died a couple of weeks ago and we had the funeral on Friday. People ask me how I'm doing, and the only honest answer I can really give is "up and down", I have a much better understanding of Redacted's roller-coaster. I was really proud during the service, and very very sad to see the hearse driving away with the coffin. At the wake I found myself surrounded by friends, family and pasties with a cold beer in my hand. When I caught myself enjoying it I felt quite guilty.

On Saturday night I played in my band in front of a lot of my family and friends, and I played well. I was really full of joy, and the audience drank and danced. It was a bizarre, yet strangely fitting end to a very poignant weekend.

Richard "up and down" B