Sometimes my life is like a poor parody of Cyrano de
Bergerac. In the real play Christian is handsome but tongue-tied and he loves
the beautiful Roxanne. Cyrano is charming and eloquent but is ugly and has a
very big nose. In the scene that everybody can remember Cyrano hides under a
balcony and prompts Christian as he woos Roxanne.
In my version I'm shy talking to woman and have the big
nose, Cyrano de Saltash is a beautiful woman. Some years ago at band practice I
asked for help text-flirting with a woman I'd met. Cyrano took my phone and
sent several messages pretending to be me. I still don't know what they said
but I must have been charming and persuasive because the next time we met we
were in bed together within an hour. (it was monstrous)
A few weeks ago I got talking to a woman from Helston.
She eventually texted me and I asked Cyrano for help formulating my reply. I
ended up as nothing more than a text message proxy service where I would
forward text from Helston towards Cyrano, and then rephrase her replies in my
own words and send them back to Helston. The system performance was poor with
some replies taking up to a couple of hours. Worse, I couldn't tell which
messages were intended for me, and which were intended to be forwarded on to
Helston. (In the end it petered out)
Richard “in-band signalling” B
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