Internal monologue

I've got an um...... friend in Seattle, and last week I was internet stalking her watching her on youtube. She’s a small woman, she was playing a parlour guitar and singing beautifully. If you could have heard my thoughts it went something like this:

Awww isn't she pretty. I can't believe she can play guitar too. Pretty basic right hand technique. This song doesn't make any sense. Must be some American reference. What chord is that? I don't recognise that one either? That one looks a bit like a D but it's on the wrong strings. I don't know any of these chords! Oh no - she's a better guitarist than me and she's playing in some obscure tuning. Hold on - that guitar's only got four strings! Oh my good god it's a Ukulele! Fuck me! she's TINY.

Oh that's funny I should email her. Am I going to offend her? I don't think so, she must already know she's a shortarse. Perfect, I can type this up for the blog too if nothing funny happens at the weekend. Her mum reads the blog too am I going to embarrass either of them? Probably be OK.

Richard "Hi Bobbie" B