GH370S

 I don't know whether this makes me feel tough and manly about my gardening, or wimpy and effeminate about my motorcycling, but I now own a woodchipper with a bigger engine than my motorbike.

It's easy to start but it requires a long pull on the starter cord. You almost have to take a step backwards as you pull it.

I once heard a story about someone in the bow of a small boat who had his nose broken by the elbow of to the guy in the stern who was vigorously pulling the starter on an outboard motor. I told this story at a party once with vigorous gesticulation and mime and my elbow ended up striking the sternum of the guy who had just got out of hospital following a heart bypass. It didn't kill him.

Richard "Briggs and Stratton" B

John Kongos

 This week combines two of my favourite tropes: "I was today years old when I found out x" and "outdated cultural reference".

At the weekend I wasn't able to go to a racing circuit because my car's engine is currently in bits at the engine builders. However I still went about the rest of my itinerary in the midlands. I went drinking with a couple of lads that I've known for over 40 years. As often happens we ended up back at home drunkenly over-appreciating music. This time it was done on youtube, painfully typing into the search box using the arrow keys on the tv remote.

In 1990 The Happy Mondays released "Step On" as a single.

I was today years old when I found out it was a cover version.

And let us also never say another word about how come the woman in Ghostbusters looks a lot like Ripley in Alien.

Richard "You're Twisting My Mellon, Man" B

TV Times

 Last weekend was the best weekend I've ever known for watching stuff on TV. I barely went to sleep on Friday night because the Alex Balwin trial was so exciting. It ended up with the prosecutor herself on the witness stand trying to explain why the defence hadn't been allowed to see all of the evidence. The lawyer who's livestream I was watching was shouting "plead the 5th and call a lawyer".

Then Donald Trump was shot – but barely scratched.

Then England was in the finals of the European football championship – we lost.

I did also do some of the gravel project outside my house, but I run out of energy and enthusiasm much earlier than I run out of daylight hours.

Richard "Arec Balrin" B

Your Powers are Weak Old Man

I’m old! Last year I turned 50, I made a big deal out of it, I had a celebration and I quite liked being able to say "I'm 50!" Now all I can say is the much more pedestrian "I'm in my 50s". While I did have a very nice meal and some good wine on my birthday, it wasn't a celebration of my birthday, it just happened to coincide with another event. I got a smattering of gifts, and nobody made a big deal out of it.

Richard "1973" B

Throwaway Culture

 There seems to be a complete lack of tuning parts available for my kettle. I bought it in Woolworths in 1998 when I moved into my first house, so it's almost brand new. There's a power switch on the kettle itself with an over-centre latch. The kettle gets power from a circular base and when you lift the kettle off the base a little spring flips the power switch to off. The little spring broke, so the kettle was slightly too dangerous for me. I uprated the spring from 22SWG to 20SWG. Sadly the slightly different shape and size of the spring meant that I required a set of shims for the plunger that actuates it. Neither uprated springs nor matching shims seem to be available for my kettle (or any other kettle) and I had to manufacture both. I had a surprising amount of piano wire and small brass bar in stock, but I don't have anything (other than a cold chisel) to cut piano wire and I don't have a watchmaker's lathe to part off the shims.

Richard "Beyond Repair - no. Beyond Economical Repair - yes" B

The Good Life

 Outdated reference to an outdated reference: In the late 90s one of my best friends moved from Plymouth to Surrey. There he met a girl, and the first time I met her and her friends I made a very poor impression on them. We were at a party, one of these women had a ludicrously posh (to my westcountry ear) accent and a slightly imperious manner. I heard her say to her (then) boyfriend "Jason, fetch me another beer". I couldn't help but say "Chequebook Jerry" in my best Margo Leadbetter voice and the two people near me erupted in gales of laughter. Nobody else had heard what I said, but they heard the laughing, and then my friends proceeded to repeat and explain it.

The posh girl and her boyfriend are now married. I went out with one of the offended women for a number of years. My friend married somebody different.

Richard "Penelope Keith" B