How was your long weekend? It was like hell on earth - if the bars, restaurants and canteens in hell are really exquisite.
On day one I was supposedly going on a long seaside walk with some slightly fitter friends. It was actually an 8 mile route march through mud. But it was punctuated by a really good English breakfast at a beautiful seaside cafe. My brother was driving to Plymouth but his journey involved a flat tyre, a broken radiator cap, gridlock at Bridgewater and the A38 closed due to an accident. Neither of us was in particularly good humour when he arrived - heavily delayed.
We then ate really excellent food from a charcoal grill and drank superbly in a luxurious cocktail lounge.
The purpose of the weekend was to thin out my hedge. The work was physically harsh, frustrating, loud, dangerous and prickly. It was started early and with a hangover. I got really angry with brambles, ivy and plastic netting. We were too tired to leave the house in the evening but I managed to home-cook a very good meal (Kensington Fried Chicken and Hard Pressed Potatoes) and we had all the makings of French 75s to drink.
I didn't bother showering which seemed luxurious at the time, but it meant that my bed was then filled with really sharp sawdust for the rest of the weekend.
Day three was just as hard work, just as early, just as hungover, but it was even more frustrating. My woodchipper (I call him Mr Creosote) wasn't manly enough for the task, and I lost a small part which we had to remanufacture. We were completely delayed by trying to gently feed individual, carefully prepared sticks down his throat and the job didn't get finished.
Tea on day three was just Freezer Surprise – Chilli Con Carne, but it was served with an excellent bottle of red wine (a very generous gift) and followed by decadent cream cakes (another gift)
Richard "Better to Drink in Hell than to Serve in Heaven" B
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