Do they know it's mediocre?

Dear Messrs Geldoff and Ure,

When I was a little boy I asked my mum why, when we gave money for "old soldiers", we got a poppy in return. She told me that it was so that the poppy man knew who had already given. Now that I'm older I think that the truth of the matter might be more nuanced.

While I support your work raising money for the ebola crisis, I think there are a few points you might like to bear in mind:

1) Charitable work and giving is best done quietly and privately, otherwise people might think that you want to be seen to be supporting a cause.

2) "Do they know it's Christmas" isn't a very good song. It wasn't a very good song in 1984, it still wasn't in 1989, it was no better in 2004, and it's not going to be any better this time.

3) With the possible exception of a couple of Cream tracks, a "supergroup" made up of the brightest talents of the day has never recorded anything worthwhile.

4) We all gave up taking it in turns to sing lines of a song when we left primary school.

Kind Regards,

Richard "Sir Bob Geldoff looking after number one" B