Perfume

file under: Engineering Boasting

My Saturday didn't live up to its billing. It was supposed to incorporate "sports car repair" and "putting on a rock concert". My friend and I thought that the ineffective handbrake and grinding noise from his back brakes would be fixed by just changing the pads. We were wrong - one of the calipers has seized. After a couple of hours of taking things apart and then putting them back together the car was just as broken as it had been and I was miserable and my clothes were soaked in brake fluid.

Like in so many depressing dramas I took a long shower thinking that it was all my fault, and that I'd never feel clean again.

My part in putting on a rock concert is mainly lifting, carrying, and driving. I did however enjoy my interaction with one of the women in the audience who was clearly very familiar with bands. In a room full of about 200 people drinking, dancing, and watching the band plus barstaff and security she singled me out (dressed all in black and standing next to a stack of sound equipment looking bored) as the person most likely to have a tube of superglue. She didn't bother speaking to my face, she went directly to shouting into my ear, her conversation was clear, concise and conducted mainly in mime. The heel had broken off her boot and she wanted something to fix it. Not only did I effect a workable temporary repair with gaffer tape, but while I was at her feet holding her ankle like a demented pantomime-horse farrier I managed to avoid looking up her dress.

It was too noisy for her to thank me, instead she gave me a kiss. After that she reminded me very strongly of my ex-girlfriend who used to wear rose-scented tinted lip gloss. Mmmmmonmouthshire.

Richard "Douse yourself only in DOT4 brake fluid from a sealed container" B