Will you marry me?

On the bank holiday I was invited to witness a proposal. I thought these were private intimate events, but one of my old school friends wanted me to watch him propose to his American girlfriend at the Mayflower steps while they were visiting the UK. I really like of the symbolism of using the Mayflower Steps for an Englishman proposing to an American, it’s spoiled slightly by the knowledge that the entire foreshore has been rebuilt since the Pilgrim Fathers left and the most likely spot that their ship last touched the UK is now the toilets in The Admiral MacBride*

He invited several of his friends and family and a photographer and he booked a venue for celebratory drinks. He was so cocksure of her answer that I really rather hoped she would say "No" – she didn't.

It wasn't clear from the invitation whether we should have been present when he popped the question so I ended up in a large group of people hiding half-heartedly behind "Prawn on a Stick"*

The most bizarre part of the event was that there's an odd bloke who hangs around on the Barbican dressed as Sir Francis Drake. He carries a sword and a pistol and accosts the tourists. He molested the happy couple and "knighted" them with his sword – all while wearing the most enormous codpiece.

The bride to be is charming and beautiful and – unusually for a septic – has a keen and sarcastic sense of humour. We were talking about names for things and she said "yes that's an excellent name for it. Did you think of that at a tea party with your dollies?"

*The Admiral MacBride is one of the few really rough pubs left in Plymouth.

*"Prawn on a Stick" is a well known sculpture and landmark in Plymouth. I believe that the sculptor gave it a much more pretentious name but that it was soundly ignored by the Janners.

Richard "Damn Yankees" B