Slippery When Wet

 Motorists using roundabouts are too impatient. A couple of years ago my sportscar shed its luggage on a roundabout and a lot of it got run over before I could retrieve it. A couple of weeks ago I slipped off my motorbike on a wet roundabout. The second that I had picked myself up and started pushing the bike towards the kerb people started using the roundabout again, paying no heed to my top-box, the bits of my mirrors that were left behind, or the items which had fallen out of my pocket.

It was the classic low-side and it happened at a nice low speed. I was dressed very defensively and I was pretty much uninjured. I took most of the impact on my right hand and right hip, but somehow managed to bang up both elbows!

Richard "leathers" B

Fridge Magnets

 In my old house I sort of collected fridge magnets. In my new house there is nowhere to stick them. The fridge-freezer is concealed and everything is made from wood, plastic or stainless steel. I have found one small place on each oven that will support a magnet so I have picked two which are dear to me for the kitchen and left the rest on steel shelving in the workshop.

I chose the Osborne Bull (from a holiday to Spain) and the Legendary Cock of Barcelos (from Portugal). Sadly they fit in so well with the décor that it looks more like one oven is specifically for meat and the other for poultry.

Richard "magnetic attraction" B

Code Name

 I've been climbing for about 18 months. I'm doing what's called bouldering (or low altitude indoor free solo) where you climb artificial walls at a gym with a thickly padded floor. You never get particularly high so there are no harnesses or ropes involved. I'm not particularly good at it, but I'm much better and stronger than when I started.

One of the moves is called a "mantle". It's where you grab something at (say) chest height and you start off by pulling down on it but end up pushing down on it at waist height. Like part of a muscle-up except you're allowed to use your feet too.

A couple of Saturdays ago I made friends with a Brummie who liked my solution to one of the climbs and said I made it look easy. I thanked him but pointed out that I couldn't do the mantle without making a silly little noise. It was completely involuntary and it was more than the sound of an old man getting up out of a sofa, but much less than the sound of a professional tennis player serving.

My new friend then climbed the same problem using my beta (set of moves) and made the same little noise during the mantle.

We then watched another climber do the same problem, but he didn't have to make the same noise so we agreed that he must be stronger than us.

I told this story to the guy I usually climb with. He used to be a professional athlete, and he's enormously fit and strong. He didn't need to make the noise, so he's now got a very cool gang name. "Silent Mantle".

Richard "quite fireplace" B